I was speaking to my Nana on the phone this week and she was sympathetic to the fact that my fiance and I would not be able to go out and about meeting friends as much now we were 'with child'. In fact the truth is we have never been out so much! We have always been real homebodies anyway, but everyday this week we have had coffee or lunch dates with friends who have been dying to meet the baby. I'm sure this will slow down a little once he has met his public but at the moment we are very much enjoying being 'yummy daddies'.
In other news... We have spent the last week registering our son with all the necessary medical places and have had to explain our alternative family on four occasions so far. Obviously we expect questions to be asked here and there... I guess I have just been surprised by how soon it has happened and by the people who have been most surprised to receive us.
First up, it was off to the Doctor to register our son as a new patient. After a bit of confusion and delay in getting his medical records sent through from his SW we eventually had him registered. As he has had a bit of a cold we thought we would book an appointment straight away so our Doctor could meet him and we could have a little general check-up, we also wanted to get a prescription for his milk formula powder. We wheeled the little fella into see the Doctor and Pappa began to talk to the Doctor first. Then I spoke. "Sorry, who are you?" asked the Doctor. "I'm his dad" I replied. Maybe because our son is mixed-race the Doctor assumed that Pappa was his dad and I was just a friend. You could see the thought process going on in his head before he muttered a simple "Oh... right" and carried on.
Leaving the surgery Pappa took the baby home and I stopped off at the Pharmacy to deal with the prescription. I had managed to get the Doctor to give us a three month supply to save going every week so I handed the slip to the assistant who was unsure that the item was. He asked the Pharmacist who was quick to holler across the shop "Sir, last time you're wife collected the items the next day, can you leave it with us?". I replied saying how kind that was of her but that I didn't have a wife and left it at that.
The next day I slipped out to the Dentist while the little one was having a nap and Pappa was steeping more bibs in Milton Fluid. Since moving to our current house almost 18 months ago neither of us have registered with a local Dentist so it was a good chance to sign us all up together. The receptionist couldn't understand why when I said I wanted to register my 'family' each of us had a different sir name - I think she ended up putting us all under my name because her computer system couldn't handle such a family! My fiance and I do plan to marry in the next couple of years but I will take his sir name in advance at the same time as we officially adopt our son next year so we will have just one family name - the Dentist will be happy :-)
Leaving the surgery Pappa took the baby home and I stopped off at the Pharmacy to deal with the prescription. I had managed to get the Doctor to give us a three month supply to save going every week so I handed the slip to the assistant who was unsure that the item was. He asked the Pharmacist who was quick to holler across the shop "Sir, last time you're wife collected the items the next day, can you leave it with us?". I replied saying how kind that was of her but that I didn't have a wife and left it at that.
The next day I slipped out to the Dentist while the little one was having a nap and Pappa was steeping more bibs in Milton Fluid. Since moving to our current house almost 18 months ago neither of us have registered with a local Dentist so it was a good chance to sign us all up together. The receptionist couldn't understand why when I said I wanted to register my 'family' each of us had a different sir name - I think she ended up putting us all under my name because her computer system couldn't handle such a family! My fiance and I do plan to marry in the next couple of years but I will take his sir name in advance at the same time as we officially adopt our son next year so we will have just one family name - the Dentist will be happy :-)
The final an possibly the funniest 'outing' this week has been in setting up a first appointment with a local Health Visitor. Whilst at the Doctor I took down a phone number for a local children's centre where the mobile Health Visitor is based (babies are supposed to have regular visits to check their weight and make sure they are on track and meeting their development milestones etc. See here). I called up, spoke to the receptionist with a brief overview of our situation and she said the HV would call me back. Sure enough she did and I managed to arrange an appointment before our first 'LAC Review' on Friday which she was unable to attend in person (the SW's had asked we invite our HV if possible). During the call she had taken down my name, date of birth and address and the same for Pappa and our son.
My phone rang again a few hours later - it was the HV again. She asked if I could give her our sons NHS number and also Pappa's. Whilst I was looking for their numbers, I asked if she had been able to find my NHS number since she hadn't asked me for my own. She replied "no", saying that she only needed [Pappa's name] as SHE was the mother. How I laughed! Now, Pappa does have a very unusual name which I suppose could be assumed to be female, so there was no call for me to get my 'LGBT flag' out just yet. I corrected her saying he was indeed our sons "Pappa". "Oh" she replied... then who are you? "I'm his Daddy" I informed her. After a very long (#awkward) pause she reminded me of our appointment time and signed off. How funny.
Our friends who adopted last year had already warned us that they are 'outed' by their little-ones all the time and have to 'come out' themselves to complete strangers (shop staff / cashiers / old ladies / florists) on a regular basis when their children are confronted with an adult asking "where's Mummy today?" and it's certainly something that we have to be prepared to do willingly. Not because we need to justify our family to complete strangers but because we want our son to be able to confidently reply to questions like that and not have to be embarrassed or give an excuse. Hopefully if he can see we take on those questions without delay (and without becoming defensive) with a selection of honest 'stock replies' he will feel well equipped to do the same...
...Even though I'm sure children accompanied by a single female parent are not often asked where their Daddy is?! Obviously children out in public with men are all on their way to meet Mummy at the salon!
Our friends who adopted last year had already warned us that they are 'outed' by their little-ones all the time and have to 'come out' themselves to complete strangers (shop staff / cashiers / old ladies / florists) on a regular basis when their children are confronted with an adult asking "where's Mummy today?" and it's certainly something that we have to be prepared to do willingly. Not because we need to justify our family to complete strangers but because we want our son to be able to confidently reply to questions like that and not have to be embarrassed or give an excuse. Hopefully if he can see we take on those questions without delay (and without becoming defensive) with a selection of honest 'stock replies' he will feel well equipped to do the same...
...Even though I'm sure children accompanied by a single female parent are not often asked where their Daddy is?! Obviously children out in public with men are all on their way to meet Mummy at the salon!
